I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
