is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
