i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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