so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
