I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Are we still banned from the library?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
