It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
