I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
