dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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