Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
