You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize
