k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it was like eating out sand paper
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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