Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Randomize
