***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
