I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
