is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it was like eating out sand paper
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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