how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
