i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
