I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Boobs are out for the taking
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize