There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I love having hate sex.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
