Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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