You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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