Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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