you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
