I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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