When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
