well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
