Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
