I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize