Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
