I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
