I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
