how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
