kristin has been a bad kristin
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
