So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
