toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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