this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Holy sore nipples Batman
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Pants are for mortals
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
