There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
