So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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