i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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