margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
