I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
