Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
