So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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