i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
