I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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