Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This is the high leading the old right now
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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