you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
