He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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