What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
