Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize