Just cropdusted the office
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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