everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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