My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
