it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
