I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
