I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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