She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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