Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize