Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Small penises have feelings too.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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