Say something about gay babies.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
