So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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