it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
