People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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