how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize