Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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