I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
