No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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