we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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