You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
